I was taking my dog to do his business when I noticed there was a dinosaur in the pond.
Go ahead and click that picture to enlarge it. Look at its head. It looks like someone peeled the flesh off a pterodactyl. What the hell is going on there?
Look at that wingspan! The beast was circling around small whales, tricking hippos into thinking the tips of its wings were all they had to worry about before snapping up entire schools of dolphins in its enormous beak. I thought I had seen the worst, but I wasn't prepared for what came next.
It peed! Have you ever seen a bird pee? It was like someone turned a fire truck's hose on full blast. It caused the entire continent of Pangaea to rise 16 millimeters. The power of the stream drilled a hole through the center of the earth to China.
I need to consult my bird identification book.